first quarter of 2026 was a load of shit
i was sick last year right after christmas, and so was my mother. i got better but she didn't. on the 6th of january at 2am in the morning, she called my cell, she said she can't breathe. the perks of not being able to sleep was my emergency response is top notch. an ambulance came and whisked my mother away to serdang hospital; what was about to be her home for the next three months.
apart from her usual hypertension and diabetes; she had hosts of other health problems; which was preventable if my deadbeat father provided her with nutritious food and not treat her like a maid.
malnourished --> anemic --> not enough oxygen to the bloodcells --> triggered a dormant (hereditary) thyroid problems --> heart forced to work harder --> fluid accumulated in her lungs --> hospital intensive care unit --> minor stroke --> extended hospital stay.
well, that was the gist of it. i was sad but i knew she will get better, she's a fighter. i'm okay when it comes to taking care of my mother, but i'm not okay with other external bullshit that doesn't have to do with me.
i will not rant about the men in the house because guess what? nothing changed. still shaking their balls and do below the bare minimum.
my mother's friends and my extended family members on the other hand... all of them are infested with toxic positivity and ableist attitude. "be strong, you should do this, you need to do that nyenyenyenyenye" like shut the fuck up okay?
i believe in community care. i don't waste my saliva and talk cock. fine, you thought that you meant well but all i saw was lip service. if you know i can't go to work and make money, if you know i don't get enough sleep and burned out and overwhelmed; why not help me with things? talking doesn't solve shit. fuck you. fuck all of you. fucking pieces of shit, talked to me as if i'm a child. fuck you all to hell.
my mother was discharged a few days before eid. she's bedridden now, but recovering slowly. she's as good as she can be. meanwhile, whatever i made from various ad-hoc jobs that i hustled last year was gone; used to sustain myself and my mother (food, adult diapers, wet wipes etc). i'm just here alone trying to pick up the broken pieces of my financial ruin.
"alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much"
-- helen keller