i crave human touch like i crave nicotine
the darndest thing about being single is: missing out on human touch.
i felt like a succubus sometimes; i drew my energy from my fellow human being. innocent, platonic touch is good; but sexual ones are even better.
was it a bad thing, to only think about one thing and even more so during my ovulation week? yes, i am known to be a very horny person to those who are close to me, and my shyness largely prevented me from being perceived as a "perverted" person in the eyes of the public.
my own existance is already a "perversion" in the eyes of the government and the conservative majority. is it really a perversion; wanting to touch and be touched? lesbians have needs too, not just straight people.
physical touch, and to a large extent, sex; heals me. i crave it on a daily basis, like i crave nicotine. it calms my nervous system and clear all those messy thoughts in my brain. in that moment it's just me and the other person; touching, breathing, and healing.
how long has it been? plus i'm not everyone's type and the fact that i look 20 years younger from my real age really complicate things.
le sigh.
"i seem to have run in a great circle, and met myself again on the starting line"
-- jeanette winterson