lowest of lows; part one
there's so many things pent up in my mind but i seemed unable to put it into words.
honestly, this is not what i wanted to write this month.
isolation, exclusion, dismissal, unloved; those are the things that had brought my feelings to the lowest of the lows.
hopefully, there's no part two because my brain has so much to process.
fuck this shit.
"some friends don't understand this. they don't understand how desperate i am to have someone say, i love you and i support you just the way you are because you're wonderful just the way you are. they don't understand that i can't remember anyone ever saying that to me. i am so demanding and difficult for my friends because i want to crumble and fall apart before them so that they will love me even though i am no fun, lying in bed, crying all the time, not moving. depression is all about: if you loved me you would"
-- elizabeth wurtzel