the last six months, finally i got it out from my chest
previously published on livejournal, august 2007
stop punishing yourself for what had happened
even though the loss is too great to bear
there's a little voice in your head saying:
"wish i never heard it from you"
"wish it's never really true"
"it's good to know you're stronger than me"
"but our friendship is not as strong as it should be"
how could you pretend nothing has happened?
she collected all her strength,
her will,
her shame,
her trust,
and told you her bitter past
when it's over you said:
"it must've taken you a lot from the inside to tell me that"
"i could never be as strong as you are"
but maybe,
just maybe,
she thinks: "you're not as strong as i am when you just witnessed my 'scar'"
maybe she's right
that's why the distance between you two ignite
maybe she's wrong
but you couldn't prove to her that you're strong
without knowing why
you have lost your best friend
and you thought: "this is where we end"
living three blocks apart
not knowing what happened
is an itch in your heart
how could i not blame myself for what had happened
so many words are left unspoken
and my heart is broken