you moved on
"my partner"
these two words echoed endlessly in my head. i'm happy that you moved on. i'm happy that you have found someone.
i'm sorry i could never gave you all those things that you wanted in a relationship. i'm struggling with unemployment and poverty. we fought a lot. you implied in the early 2021 that we don't have a future together. even though material things are the least of your concerns back then when we were seeing each other, for some reasons i felt that it does significantly affected our relationship.
i'm glad we're still friends. i did have this feeling that you wanted me back for the third time when we re-connected february last year, but the thought of us fighting again made me realized that i can't go through another heartbreak with the same person. i told you i moved on, despite you telling me that you will always love me.
perhaps i did moved on, and indeed i will always love you too, but maybe in a different way. but my mind kept going back to wonderland; what happens if we are still together? what if we can make this long distance thing work? maybe both of us will find the happiness that we are looking for?
i don't know.
i suppose romantic love and loving relationship is something that only happens to certain people and not someone like me, and i'm okay with that.
fuck love.
"the most difficult aspect of moving on is accepting that the other person already did"
-- faraaz kazi